What happened to the belief that we negotiate our problems? That we 'talk' and 'reason' with our children?
Maybe we have seen two or three generations disciplined this way and the result scares us to death. We're raising a irresponsible, disrespectful, undisciplined generation. A generation that believes that they should be handed everything on a silver platter. That their every whim should be catered to inexplicibly.
Most of the 18-25 year olds were raised with some form of corporal punishment. Whether we were spanked, swatted or smacked. We learned quickly that what our parents said -they meant.
Yes, I am fully aware that there are lunatics that take punishment to despicable levels. They shouldn't be allowed to have children ( or animals). But, to my knowledge, I've never had the urge to beat someone (that didn't deserve it) for no explainable reason. I've never felt as though I was abused, neglected or abandoned. In fact, (shocker) I felt rather loved and taken care of. Spankings included. I learned to respect my parents, elders and those in authority. I learned that there are consequences for my actions. Something many children lack now days.
But what can one do? In a world where children are left to their own devices, with little or no parental guidance.
I also learned to take responsiblity for my actions. I don't blame someone else if I get into trouble or do something I'm not suppose to. I eat everything on my plate and don't whine that it isn't McDonalds. I'm not a terribly picky eater. Another outcome of a lack of discipline.
No, I'm not saying force your child to eat things they honestly don't like. But don't make them turn up their nose at anything they think doesn't look right. Teach them to count their blessings. Teach them that yes, there are children that don't have what they have. Even here in our on country. Give them the oppurtunity to give back to the community. Give them the chance to make a difference. Even if it's something as small as raking leaves for their neighbors or baking cookies for the mailman. Give them a chance to give rather than get all the time.
I recently spoke with a woman who's grandchildren were raised through talking, timeouts, and a 'hands off' method. They were polite, they were well behaved and generally nice children. There's nothing wrong with that, I'm glad that they turned out the way they did.
But what do you do with a ten year old that has already been suspended twice for bringing a knife to school? Can you reason with him? Or perhaps he needs to be shown some 'tought love'? He thinks it's glamorous to have a record. I had a chance to speak with him. I told him, "you don't want to go to juvie. You don't want to go to Rader (local youth incarciration facility). You think you're tough? They would beat the crap out of you and worse." Hopefully, he understood.
With all that said.. Happy Thanksgiving to all of you..
Remember to be thankful.. Count your blessings.. Etc.
I'm currently setting in an airport awaiting my connecting flight..
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